My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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