so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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