You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
