The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
