That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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