you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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