The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
