Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
