That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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