u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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