I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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