we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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