its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize