she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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