But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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