It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
