worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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