guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
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