I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
