Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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