Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
