Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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