nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
