chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize