Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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