Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
