Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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