everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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