Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
