this beer tastes like vomit already
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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