the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
