thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
