do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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