that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
