apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
