my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize