I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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