I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize