Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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