Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
