don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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