We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
