u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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