I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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