god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
