Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
