you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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