My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I know her cup size but not her name....
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