His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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