I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
