she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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