Cold hands, warm shart.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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