If that was your dad, he is hot
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
