apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
