Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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