96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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