youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize