Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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