do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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