I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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