did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
