Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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