dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
