curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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