just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
