Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
