His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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