She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
why is half of my head shaved?
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